Feedback on Treatment 2

Criticism

-The flow of the story is repitive

-we shouldnt do the same thing over and over again.

-stay away from repeating what goes on

-show what the  main character has overcome

-we havent properly developed our idea

Improvements/good points-

-Story goes on for 2days

-flows well

-talk to the boy we are making the film about

-get ideas of not being confident

-phone rings, he replies "not coming out"

-friend knocking at his door/frightend to get out of bed/knock at the door and noone comes out

-seems rushed/jumped points

-show more of a lack of confidence

-maybe scared to get out of bed?

-we need to set it up properly

-steer clear of the stereotypical bullying theme

-put yourself in his position

-be more creative!!!

-Make it more realistic

-make more fus over the boy

-make much more of a fus of the girl he saved